


A Fairytale Christmas

by LolaBleu



Series: Patterns & Fairytales [4]
Category: Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Christmas, F/M, fourtris!babies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2015-01-01
Packaged: 2018-01-06 04:10:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1102239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LolaBleu/pseuds/LolaBleu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every year Tobias helps Benjamin make a Christmas present for Tris. But this year, for the first time, Benjamin is helping Tobias make Tris a Christmas gift. And it's a really, really good one, he thinks. *A story of Christmas surprises set in the Patterns & Fairytales universe.*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, for those of you who follow my Tumblr (BleuWrites) you know that in my little Patterns universe Tris and Tobias end up having three kids, though I've really only written the story of Benjamin (and touched on their decision to have another one in the Patterns & Fairytales epilogue). This is part of the sequel to that fic that I started writing prior to Allegiant. Since I don't know if I'll ever finish it, I'm posting it as a one-shot for now. Obviously, not Allegiant-compliant, but I refuse to write anything that is. Anyway, Merry Christmas and enjoy!

Every year Tobias helps Benjamin make a Christmas present for Tris. But this year, for the first time, Benjamin is helping Tobias make Tris a Christmas gift. And it's a really, really good one, he thinks.

It's not going to be a surprise though because, as his dad said, you can't really hide an entire house under the bed, and he joked that Tris might think they'd gotten robbed if she came home one day and all their furniture was gone, so they told her.

Truthfully, Benjamin wasn't all that excited about it at first. Even though the house is just on the other side of the park it still means moving out of the Pire and away from all his friends. But Tobias is right, Benjamin and Matthew are getting bigger and bigger and their apartment feels like it is getting smaller and smaller and Ben doesn't want to share a bedroom with his brother forever, so he gave his okay.

And if they have more room they might finally be able to get a dog. And Benjamin really, really wants a dog. He wouldn't mind sharing his room with one, even.

Besides that, he gets to help his dad fix the place up. The city workers who are going through Chicago renovating old buildings so they're fit to live in did a pretty good job, but Tobias said they didn't make it into a home: they needed paint and wallpaper and furniture to make it that. So, every weekend for the last month Benjamin has been helping his dad make the place pretty. He even came up with a few ideas of his own, and it made him feel special when Tobias ruffled his hair and said, "that's a good idea, Ben. We should do that," and then did.

But last weekend when he was doing the very important job of doling out the screws for the desk Tobias was assembling, he realized they were missing an essential part of any gift: the wrapping. As they sat on the dusty floor of what is going to be Tobias' office he made Ben laugh with all the ridiculous ways you could try to wrap a house up, which were impossible to do, but fun to think about.

They did decide to get a big bow to put on the front door though, and Benjamin was happy with that. He imagined a fancy bow made of red and white striped ribbon, like a giant candy cane, but then he walked into school this morning and the teachers had all kinds of crafts laid out for them to do instead of learning stuff, and his eyes glazed over with possibilities. By the end of the day he had something a lot better than a bow, and though it was a job for him to get it home without his mom seeing it, he did.

xxxx

Growing up with Marcus was like growing up in gulag, but Tobias could set his watch by his father coming home promptly at 6:30 every evening; not a minute before or after. Tobias wishes he could say the same for himself. Then again, they live in a different world now even if it is the same city and Chicago no longer runs like a well oiled machine.

It's not all bad. Being on the Council again means he got first dibs on one of the houses the Neighborhood Resettlement Department offered in their district, but on days like these - when it's been nearly a week since he got home early enough that his kids are still awake to greet him -, it seems like poor compensation.

And he expects to come home to a sleep-quiet apartment tonight just like he has been, but even before he opens the door he can hear the music and laughter on the other side. He opens the door as quietly as possible only to find Tris on the floor doubled over in laughter as Benjamin dances ridiculously in the middle of the living room, Matthew trying his hardest to mimic his big brother.

Tobias tries to hold it in, but laughter bursts from his throat too as he stands in the doorway. The next thing he knows Benjamin's barreling into him, shouting excitedly. "Mom let us stay up late because there's no school tomorrow, and you're late! You missed dinner again, but that's okay because we gave Matty a bath and then we were dancing so he didn't fall asleep, and I'm really happy you're home 'cause I made something at school, for Mom, but she can't see it 'cause it's a surprise," he says in a rush, not even breaking stride as Tobias picks him up and kisses his cheek and sets him back down again.

"Can I say 'hi' to your mom first?" Tobias asks, looking from Benjamin to Tris where she's hovering a few feet away, Matthew now resting on her hip.

"Okay," Benjamin huffs, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet.

"Missed you," he murmurs to Tris. He kisses her cheek only to have Matthew paw at his face. "Missed you too," he says, tickling him.

"Come on," Benjamin whines, tugging impatiently on his hand. As he lets his son lead him into the bedroom he can't help thinking that Marcus would have lost his mind if he came home to music and dancing and laughing, let alone being bossed around by his son. It puts an even wider smile on Tobias' face.

He watches, bemused, as Benjamin makes a show of telling Tris, "no peeking!" and closing the door before bustling over to the closet only to drag out a cardboard box like it's a treasure chest. And it is, at least to Ben, because it holds the three giant popsicle stick snowflakes he painstakingly glued together and painted, and a wreath made of pinecones threaded onto an old wire hanger that sparkle with silver glitter.

"You made these?" Tobias asks, impressed.

"I had help," he offers. "Miss Black's brother brought the pinecones and showed us how to make them into a wreath and he helped us."

"That was very nice of him. Did you say 'thank you'?"

"I did!" Benjamin exclaims because his parents always remind him to say 'please' and 'thank you', and he knows it makes them happy when he does it even if they aren't around.

"Good. So, where do you want to put these?"

"On the front door, on the new house. I think they're prettier than a bow, don't you?"

"I do, but I think if we put the snowflakes outside they'll break. Why don't we hang them in the window and hang the wreath on the door?"

"Okay. The hook it kinda ugly though," he says, frowning. "Miss Black said we could tie a ribbon around it, to hide it, but we didn't have any."

"We'll get some," Tobias assures him.

"Can I pick it out?"

"Sure," Tobias says, packing away the treasures with great care and hiding the box in the closet once again.

"Can I come in now?" Tris asks as she taps on the door. "Matty needs to go to bed."

Benjamin looks at his dad with wide eyes, shaking his head frantically.

"I'll keep her out, but you have to get in the bath."

"Thanks, Dad," Benjamin says as he pushes himself to his feet and disappears into the bathroom.

"You can't come in," Tobias says sternly as he opens the door, but the smirk on his face makes Tris roll her eyes.

"Then you can put him to bed," she says handing Matthew off to him. "And I'll be waiting for you in ours."

"Don't tease me," he groans.

"Asleep," Tris deadpans before turning on her heel, a smirk of her own on her face.

"Your mother is a cruel woman, I hope you know that," he murmurs to Matthew. The only response he gets is a yawn and Matthew burrowing his face into Tobias' neck. Even if he wasn't half asleep already the one reliable way to get Matthew in bed is walking around with him; something about the movement soothes him, so that's what Tobias does. He paces back and forth the length of the room, quietly telling him a made up story since he's too little to know the difference anyway.

Within minutes he's lax and heavy in his father's arms, and Tobias lays him down gently, cradling his head just like when he was a baby. It's harder, with Matthew, because he's so young that the only real way to be bond with him is to be present, which is something Tobias hasn't been lately. Of course he's always been Tris' baby, and there are still times when he wants only her, but Tobias doesn't want to be a stranger to his son either.

He sighs and kisses him between his brows and vows to a better job living up the promise he made both their sons when they were born: that he'd always love them and they'd always know.

"You look sad," Benjamin comments as Tobias sits down on the side of the bathtub.

"And you look like you used too much bubble bath," Tobias says, taking in the mountains of bubbles filling the tub. It does smell nice though; something herbally like juniper or rosemary, maybe.

"You shouldn't be sad. It makes Mom sad when you're sad, so you shouldn't be sad," he says with perfect little-boy logic.

"Did she tell you that?"

"No," he shakes his head, splattering Tobias' shirt with water in the process. "I can just tell."

As much as Tris likes to point out all the characteristics and mannerisms Benjamin inherited from Tobias, he definitely got her perceptiveness.

"Are you sad?"

And her stubbornness too, apparently.

"No, I just wish I wasn't gone so much," Tobias says heavily, but honestly.

"But you're doing important stuff."

"You and Matty and Mom are important too."

Benjamin ducks his chin, his cheeks flushing from the kind of pleasurable embarrassment only a parent can inflict.

"What did you do today?" Tobias asks, giving Ben a break.

"Um, school, and then we went to the park for a while, and then we went to Aunt Christina's because Mom needed to get your Christmas present." As soon as the words are out he claps his hand over his mouth, but it's too late.

"I heard that," Tris calls out from their bedroom on the other side of the jack-and-jill bathroom.

"What did she get me?" Tobias asks loud enough for Tris to hear.

"Don't bother, he doesn't know."

Benjamin waves him nearer and whispers, "I think it's something small because there wasn't a bag or anything." He's never so happy as when he's conspiring with his dad.

The rest of Benjamin's bath passes without incident and though there's the usual attempt at casually bringing up getting a dog, he goes to bed not long after.

Tobias falls face first into bed, jostling Tris and knocking a puff of air out of his lungs. "Ben says I'm making you sad" he says, wrapping around her when she pulls him close.

"No, not sad," she murmurs, kissing him. "I just think you're being too hard on yourself, and I worry."

"You don't have to worry about me." It takes him a minute to get all the words out since his lips are otherwise occupied.

"I do though," she says, pushing him until he's on his back and she's halfway on top of him. "Because you're obsessing."

"On the house?"

"No, well yeah, but you're obsessing on the house because you feel like you're not being a good dad."

"I just want it to be perfect since we're going to be there for a while, forever probably," he says trying to brush off her words and pull her back down for another kiss, but she doesn't let him.

"Is that the only reason?" she asks, pinning him in place with her eyes, peeling back all his excuses with them.

"No."

"I know."

"Then why -," he starts, annoyed.

"Because you need to realize it, and I don't know how else to make you do that," she cuts him off. "We're a family Tobias, and we're figuring out how to make this new normal work, but I wish you'd stop obsessing on this because when has that ever made you happy? You still have four fears no matter how many times you go through your fear landscape, because it's not about being fearless is it? You're never going to be a perfect father, but that doesn't mean you're not a good father," she finishes with a huff.

He gives her a minute to calm down, and then says, "If I say I'm sorry will you kiss me again?"

"Ugh, why do I even bother," she grumbles, rolling away.

Tobias follows right after her, pinning her down this time. "Because you love me that's why," he says, kissing her softly.

"I do."

xxxx

Benjamin jumps between the footsteps his father is leaving in the snow as they troop across the park. One day his legs will be long enough to match his strides, but for now this is fun. Even though it's midday the air is cold and if he takes too deep a breath it seems to freeze in his lungs, but that's okay too because it's a funny feeling and he enjoys it sometimes.

He and Tobias woke up early so they could put the finishing touches on the new house which basically amounted to waiting for the furniture to be delivered, and - most importantly - hanging up Benjamin's Christmas treasures. Just before they break the treeline, Tobias comes to a halt, lifting Matthew out of Tris' arms and telling her to close her eyes. She gives him a look, but does it anyway, extending her other hand to Benjamin because it's his surprise for her too.

They're the first family to move into the little cul-de-sac, and their house seems like something out of a fairytale to Ben, not because it's big - which it is -, or because of the fancifully arched windows, but because it has a turret, and that is just really cool, like if Dauntless had a castle, this would be it.

And he gets to live here.

Tobias guides Tris by the shoulders so that she's facing the right way when he tells her to open her eyes. She squints against the cold winter sun and then chokes, looking from Tobias to the house with wide-eyed disbelief. "Are you serious?" she gasps.

"I am," Tobias says, a grin so big it looks like it hurts splitting his face.

Ben's so excited he practically drags her inside, only stopping at the door because that's where his wreath of pinecones hangs and he especially wants his mom to see it. "This is what I was hiding from you," he announces. "We were going to get just a bow, but then at school yesterday we made this and it's so much better than a bow, 'cept it has a bow too," he says, fingering the ribbon his dad tied around the hook to hide it before the hung it up this morning. "Do you like it?"

"I love it, Ben," she says, swooping down to give him a kiss. "Thank you, Baby."

Benjamin is so pleased he lets the nickname slide for once. "There's more stuff I made inside, and Johanna brought us a tree, a real tree, a really big one. Wanna see?" he chatters as he opens the door. He expects his parents to follow him, but when he turns around the only one there is Matthew because his parents are still standing on the stoop, hugging and even kissing a little, the way they do when one of them wants something and other isn't sure it's a good idea.

But whatever they're saying to each other is too quiet for Benjamin to hear, and then his father kisses his mother one last time and the frown that was just hinting around her mouth disappears when he sweeps her up into his arms in one quick motion. "I can never remember which foot," he mutters.

"Your right foot," Tris supplies.

Once he's over the threshold he sets her down again. "Do you like it?" he asks and Benjamin can't help thinking that he and his dad sound a lot alike sometimes.

She looks around, taking in the two small couches that bookend either side of the fireplace and Christmas tree, to the opposite end opposite end of the room where there's a dining table and chairs, a door on the other side of that hinting at a kitchen before fixing Tobias with a very serious look. "It's too much," she says, and Tobias' face falls a little. "But I love it," she finishes, a smile breaking across her face.

"Do you want to see the rest of it?" he asks, that smile from before coming back.

"No, I'll just stand here forever."

"Smartass."

"Dad said a bad word!" Benjamin announces like they didn't all hear it.

"I'm an adult, I'm allowed to," Tobias protests.

"When I'm an adult will I be allowed to?"

"No," Tris and Tobias answer in unison.

Benjamin grabs Tris' hand again and starts leading her around the house, Tobias following after them with Matthew back in his arms. He shares a lot of looks with Tris that Benjamin doesn't understand, but he looks like he's trying to hide how pleased he too, so it's okay.

The first floor, in Benjamin's opinion, is boring - except for his popsicle snowflakes and the yet-to-be-decorated tree, that is - but Tris wants to see everything, so he patiently leads her around, and just happens to mention that now they have a backyard and dogs like backyards. When all his mom does is humm in response he decides it's time to show her the rest of the house.

The second floor is his favourite because it has his room (and Matthew's too, but he cares less about that), but also because Tobias turned the sitting room into a playroom for him and Matty. There's a couch and fireplace so it kind of looks like the living room, but instead of a coffee table there's one twice that size thats top is actually a chalkboard. And over the couch is Benjamin's one great contribution to the house: a massive piece of cork-board where he and Tobias have pinned up everything from pictures of their friends and family to finger paintings Matthew has made.

"This was your idea, Ben?" she asks wonderlingy as she threads her way between the table and couch to get a good look at it.

"Uh-huh, because Dad said stuff won't stick on new the 'fridgerator, and I said we should get a cork-board like we have at school, and he thought it was a really good idea," he says proudly.

"It's a great idea, Ben. I'm so glad you had it."

He can't help preening a little at that, but he wants to show her his favourite thing about the room so he drags her over to the turret. "See, it has a couch in it," he says crawling on it.

"Built into it," Tobias quietly corrects him.

"Right, but if you look you can see the Pire," he says, scooting over to make room for Tris and pointing out the window to the Pire shining in the weak winter sun in the distance.

They sit and stare for a minute before Benjamin is prodding her to her feet again, this time keen to show her the bedrooms because he helped pick out the paint and everything. The bedrooms are laid out identically, each with a window looking out on the backyard on one wall, and on another built in shelves and a desk. The rooms are decorated differently though: Benjamin's room is painted white and his bedspread has burnt orange, turquoise, and white stripes, and Matthew's room is painted pale blue, with a patchwork bedspread made up of different colors of pale blue and green.

"So where's my room?"

"The third floor is ours," Tobias answers.

"All of it?" Tris asks, incredulous.

"Well, there's an office too," he hedges. "Ben, why don't you show Matty how to color on the new table and I'll show Mom the upstairs."

"I can do it," he exclaims, and leads his mother out before anyone can stop him.

As Tobias said, the third floor has their parents bedroom, bathroom, and his office. Benjamin doesn't think there's anything that impressive about it, aside from the fireplace directly across from their bed, and desk built into the turret on this floor. But his mother seems to think otherwise and spends a lot of time looking around and considering the big dresser that's filling the alcove between the door to downstairs and the door to the bathroom. In fact the only thing that seems to shake her out of her thoughts is a knock at the front door.

xxxx

Somehow, Zeke and Uriah dropping off Tris and Tobias' personal belongings turned into everyone coming over to their house. Sure, it started with those two, but then Benjamin wanted to show Zoey around and Shauna wanted to see their new house, so they came over, and not long after that Christina and Michael turned up too.

And now, hours later, they're having an impromptu Christmas Eve party, a giant pot of spaghetti and meatballs and an equally giant bowl of salad sitting in the middle of the dining room table surrounded by their family of friends. And there's something about it, about sharing a meal with the people you love that makes this house feel like a home, Tris thinks.

Tobias told her they were getting a rowhouse, that it was three stories tall to make up for being long and narrow, but somehow she wasn't ready for the reality of it. It is beautiful of course, magical even, given the red brick and arched windows and turret (that Ben keeps pointing out to anyone who will listen), to say nothing of the wood floors and tiled fireplace surrounds that somehow survived a hundred years of neglect.

But still, she wasn't sure she could be comfortable here. It is just so big and while it's true they need the space - now more than ever -, there are still parts of Tris that are Abnegation, and a house like this doesn't mesh well with them. Until now. Now it feels like a place her kids can grow up in, a place where Tobias and her can grow old in.

Once the table is cleared Tris sets out a box of ornaments and lets the kids have at the tree, Tobias helping Matthew pick out slices of dried oranges and cinnamon stars. Normally Tris would have volunteered to help too, but Tobias needs this, needs to spend time with his kids, especially Matty; he needs to feel like a good father.

It's late, late enough that the kids - Zoey included - are lazing on the floor in front of the fireplace after expending their last burst of energy on the tree, when there's another knock on the door. Tobias gives her a reassuring look and Tris braces herself because they both know what's coming.

Tris recognizes Nigel, the Candor who interrogated her under the truth serum, when Tobias answers the door, and it sends a chill down her spine. Then again, it does every time she sees him.

"I think this is for you, Ben," Tobias says, setting a box down in front of him. It's just plain cardboard, but where Benjamin was almost asleep a moment ago, he's fully awake now. And when he pulls the flaps of the box back and gives an excited shriek, she knows any hope of getting him to bed before he literally drops from exhaustion is a fantasy.

"I got a puppy? I got a puppy!" he exclaims, jumping up and giving Tobias a hug.

Christina cocks an eyebrow questioningly at Tris.

"Not my idea," she mutters because it wasn't. It was Tobias', and she let him talk her into it.

The two of them move from the dining room table to one of the couches, for a better look. Benjamin is practically beside himself with happiness, and she can tell it's an effort for him to sit still and let the puppy smell him the way Tobias tells him to, but he does. He's rewarded when the little thing squirms onto his lap, puts it's paws up on his chest and starts licking him.

Once it's clear that Benjamin doesn't need his help anymore, Tobias pulls himself up onto the couch with Tris, slinging an arm around her shoulders. She has a heart-stopping moment when she expects it to bite Matthew when he crawls over, curious, but all the puppy does is lick his face too and wag it's stub of a tail so energetically it's whole body moves with it.

"So, what are you going to name her?" Tris asks, plastering a smile on her face, trying to be excited because Benjamin is.

"Bandit, maybe? Because she's got a mask like a bandit." It's true, she does. Her body is a pale fawn color, but her face is black with a white stripe that runs from the tip of her nose top of her head.

"That's a boy-dog name," Zoey chastises. "What about Suki? I always liked that name," she offers, tapping her fingers on the floor to draw the puppy's attention.

"Well, I don't," Ben says. "What about… Bandy? That's still like Bandit, but it's a girly name."

The longer she watches, the more the knot in her chest loosens, before finally dissolving completely when Tobias pulls her close. "It was just a simulation," he says quietly.

"You're spoiling him," Tris murmurs back, ignoring his comment because she knows that, just like she knows it's irrational to still be wary of dogs all these years after taking the aptitude test.

"There are worse things to do," he says grimly.

The adults spend the next hour watching the kids crawl around the floor, the puppy bounding after them, yipping happily. When Benjamin plops Bandy down on her lap so Tris can 'meet' her, she surprises herself by smiling at how affectionate it is, pawing and licking at her hands, eager for affection.

Eventually, Matthew starts to get cranky and tired and Tris has to take him upstairs to put him to bed when his mood threatens a tantrum. She's still there, lying in bed with him when she hears the last of their guests leaving, keen to get home because of the late hour and the fresh snow starting to fall. Tobias and Benjamin make their way upstairs not long after.

"Can Bandy sleep on the bed with me?" Benjamin asks around a yawn as Tobias helps him change for bed, Tris watching from the door.

"Sure, just be careful not to roll over on her. I don't think she'll like that very much."

Benjamin giggles a little at his father's joke as he climbs into bed, quickly settling himself and extending his arms to accept Bandy when Tobias hands her to him.

"We'll be just upstairs if you need us, okay?" Tris reminds him, smoothing his hair off his forehead and pretty a kiss to it. "And it's okay to be scared in a new place," she adds.

"We'll be okay," he reassures her. "It's Bandy's first night here too, and I figure she'll be scared too, and we'll keep each other safe."

"That's the idea," Tobias says before kissing him goodnight. Tris sits on the bed and cards her fingers through his hair while Tobias takes a moment check of Matthew, and by the time he comes back Benjamin is almost completely asleep, the puppy curled up in the crook of his neck.

"How long do you think we have before one of them wakes up and crawls in bed with us?" Tobias asks ruefully as he leads Tris upstairs.

"A couple of hours, maybe," Tris says, stealing nervous glances back to the floor below them. She likes the the privacy that being on a separate floor provides them, in theory, but in reality? It makes her nervous being this far away from her babies, and all she can think about is how Matthew will probably wake up in the middle of the night and panic from being in a strange place since he's still too young to really understand what's going on. But it's going to happen sooner and later, so she keeps putting on foot in front of the other despite her misgivings.

"Then I guess I better make good use of it," Tobias says, smiling roguishly and pulling her onto the bed with him so that Tris is straddling his legs. She knows he's just trying to distract her.

She kisses him slow and soft and deep before pulling away a little and resting her forehead against his. "Do you really want them to think their new home is haunted because they keep hears strange creaks and moans at night?" she asks.

"It's probably better they think that."

Tris pushes against his chest in reprimand, but that just makes him flop down on his back and he pulls her with him. His hands grip her hips, holding her in place as he rolls his own against her, his lips on her neck. "Tobias," she protests, but considering it's more moan than anything else, it's basically weightless.

And despite the hour and the long day they've had and worrying about Benjamin and Matthew, Tris decides that this isn't such a bad idea after all because she wants to be distracted, and it probably won't hurt to get Tobias in the best mood possible before she springs her Christmas present on him.

And he does a very good job of distracting her. Twice. She feels boneless and considerably less nervous as she hugs a pillow under her chest, Tobias tracing patterns on her damp skin as they lay face-to-face in their newly christened bed.

"So do you like the house?" he asks. It's not the first time he's asked it today, but hopefully it will be the last.

"I love it, Tobias," she sighs. "It's too much for us, but I love it. Do you want your present?"

"You didn't have to get me anything."

She shrugs, but her shoulders are considerably stiffer than they were a moment ago, nervous and tense. Tris reaches over to her bedside table and pulls a small wrapped package out of the drawer. She hid it carefully in a box of clothes and made sure Tobias was out of the room as she unpacked it.

Tobias carefully peels back the paper, pulls off the lid off the box, and then his brow furrows in confusion as he takes in the framed picture. "Is this Ben or Matty? I can never tell anything with these ultrasound photos," he asks, confused.

"It's not either of them," she says slowly. She can almost see the wheels turning in Tobias' head as he works out what she means, but when he does he looks at her with utter disbelief; it's becoming a bit of theme for their family today. "We're having another baby?" he whispers.

Tris swallows thickly. It can't come as that much of a shock since they haven't really been as careful as they should be since Matthew was born, but it isn't exactly planned either and the last time they were faced with an unplanned pregnancy, well… that's not something she wants to go through again.

"Surprise," she says weakly. "I know with everything going on right now it's not a great time-"

But whatever else she's going to say is cut off by Tobias' lips on hers. "You're serious? We're having another kid?" he asks, laughing and smiling and crying all at the same time.

Tris nods her head as much as she can with Tobias' hands framing her face. She hoped he'd be happy, hoped it enough that she framed the little ultrasound picture Dr. Gonzales have her yesterday when she went to the doctor to confirm her suspicions and wrapped it up as a gift, but this is is a lot better than she expected. "Merry Christmas," she says between kisses.


	2. New Year's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry (belated) Christmas and Happy New Year!
> 
> ~ Lola

_New Years Eve, 3 years later_

* * *

 

Tobias' alarm is set for 8:30 in the morning; not that it matters much when, an hour before, he hears Ben and Matty sleepily stumbling their way upstairs. Matthew is the first to arrive, giving his father a sloppy kiss as he crawls over them to cuddle against his mother. Benjamin isn't far behind, gently leading Sophie by one hand as she rubs at her eyes with the other one.

There's grumbling and jostling and Matthew squawks indignantly when Sophie tries to wedge herself between him and Tris, but eventually they all get situated under the covers, hair tousled and breath stale, but deliciously warm on such a chilly morning, buried together as they are under the pile of blankets.

Tobias misses sleepy, clumsy morning sex - and so does Tris for that matter -, but he doesn't know how much longer Benjamin will want to curl up into his chest, wrap his spindly little arms around his father's neck, and fall back to sleep safe and warm in his arms, so he tries to appreciate it instead of being irritated by it.

And this morning it's not hard to appreciate, considering their plans of the rest of the day.

Tobias keeps Ben close with one arm, but his other reaches out, his fingers carding through Matty's head where he's curled against Tris' one side, and then Sophie where she's curled against the other.

~~xxxx~~

"Am I that interesting?" Tobias asks, quirking an eyebrow at Ben where he's perched on the bathroom counter while Tobias runs the electric razor over his cheeks, shaving away the stubble.

Benjamin shrugs his shoulders indifferently.

"You okay? Sad the vacation will be over soon?"

"Yeah, I guess. I want to see my friends again, but I won't get to sleep in anymore and there's homework," Ben answers, his face twisting in disgust at the horror of  _homework_.

"It'll be summer before you know it," Tobias says, nudging Ben's shoulder playfully.

"But it's so far away," Ben whines, and Tobias can't blame him; in the depths of winter it's hard to remember that summer will come eventually, but life is like that.

"Come on," Tobias says, prodding him off the counter, out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom when he's finished.

Tris is still in bed, keeping Matthew and Sophie entertained, waiting for her turn in the bathroom. Tobias deftly picks Sophie up, tickling her sides once she's propped on his hip, making her shriek happily before pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"You know she can walk now, right?" Tris teases, pulling herself and Matthew from the blankets.

"There's a lot of stairs between here and the kitchen," Tobias says seriously. "She might fall."

He doesn't miss the smirk Tris tosses over her shoulder, the same one he used to give her every time she'd pick Matty up to carry him well after he was able to toddle on his own.

Tobias takes the kids downstairs and starts breakfast. It won't be long before Tris joins him and she'll scowl at him for starting without her, but their friends will be here sooner than they think, probably, so he can at least get things started.

The boys hang around the kitchen for lack of anything better to do, and though normally Tobias would set Sophie on her feet, the floor is too cold in his estimation so he keeps her on his hip while he pulls packages of sausage from the fridge and turns on the oven's broiler.

She tries to grab at the links of raw meat as he arranges them on the pan and he spends more time trying to contain her than anything else, at least until Tris sneaks up behind him and lifts Sophie out of his arms.

"You're just trying to help Daddy aren't you?" Tris coos, perching the toddler on her hip instead.

Sophie has a playpen set up in the living room, but if she can see Tris or Tobias while she's in it, she'll scream and cry and tantrum her way back into their arms, so inevitably they end up holding her just to avoid that. It's probably wrong, they should probably make her stay in it until she realizes it's not the end of the world, but neither seem to be capable of that.

Between the two of them they get the breakfast of sausage, and french toast made with cinnamon-raisin bread started, enlisting Ben and Matty to set the table.

Zeke and Shauna and the rest of the Pedrad's don't even bother knocking anymore, just barge through the backdoor, stomping snow off their shoes and shrugging off their coats and scarves and gloves. Christina and Uriah aren't far behind them, Hana too. This is their New Year's Eve tradition: a big breakfast eaten together as a family, Tris and Tobias being adopted by the Pedrad's long ago now.

The kids are loud, raucous, and Bandy gets more than one piece of sausage slipped to her surreptitiously under the table. It's nearly 10 AM by the time they finish and Tris takes their kids upstairs to get dressed, Zeke and Tobias and Uriah cleaning up the kitchen and loading the dishwasher.

"Do you think it's safe to take Grace with us?" Uriah frets, his eyes worriedly drifting to the window above the sink and the snowy landscape outside it. "I mean, it's really cold."

"You can leave her with Mom," Zeke offers, tossing his head towards Hana where she's sitting in the living room with Shauna and Christina and baby Grace. "She's going to stay here with Brynn and Sophie anyway."

"No," Uriah says firmly.

Ever since Grace was born Uriah has been loath to let her out of his sight. Tris told Tobias that it's because he wasn't there to stop Marlene the night she died, that, as irrational as it is, he's paranoid that something will happen to the baby if he's not there. Tobias can't really blame him for it; the scars of the war - the loss and grief and fear - will never really fade, even if it appears in strange and unexpected ways.

"Well, then make sure she's bundled up good and she'll be fine," Zeke shrugs. "Or stay here with her."

"No, I want to go," Uriah sighs. "I just worry."

"We all do," Tobias murmurs. "You get used to it."

"Guess so, since you're the last person I thought would have three kids considering how you acted when Tris found out she was pregnant with Ben," Uriah smirks.

"Shut up," Tobias snaps, his head whipping around to make sure Benjamin isn't anywhere near this conversation. Luckily he's still upstairs.

"He's going to find out someday," Uriah frowns.

Tobias wants to say  _not if I can help it_ , but instead says, "Yeah, but not because you can't keep your big mouth shut." He has no idea how he's going to handle that conversation if, or when, it happens. Many nights Tobias has kept himself up, breaking his own heart imagining Ben looking at him with betrayal in his eyes, never looking at him like his dad always is and always will be his hero.

They're just wiping the counters down when Tris and kids come back downstairs. There's the usual scuffle of pulling on boots and bundling up tight against the weather before they leave, - and Sophie calling out for them forlornly at being left behind in a way that tugs at both Tris and Tobias' hearts -, but they get out the door nonetheless.

Grace coos and gurgles in her little snow suit. Really, it's just a very insulated bag with a hood and though Christina says it's supposed to look like a pea-pod Tobias thinks it just makes the baby look like a fat, green worm.

Once they're settled on the train, Tobias' arm around Tris shoulders as Matty sits on her lap, and Ben on his, he watches Uriah and Christina. They seem happier now than they have been in a long time, Uri especially. They're stressed, sleep deprived, still learning how to have a family and a life at the same time, but for the first time since the war, happy.

 _No, not happy_ , Tobias amends.  _Content_.

And contentedness is so much harder and more important than happiness, because happiness is bright, shining moments of time that burst effervescent and then they're gone. Contentedness is deep, lasting, and even in the midst of the storm of life something to ground you, keep you sane, keep going because you have it as your touchstone. It's what their family is to Tobias and Tris, and he thinks it's what their families must be to the rest of them too.

He keeps hold of Tris' hand as they disembark in the Abnegation part of town. It's a quick walk to the war memorial. The park is barren and empty, which is part of the reason they always come on New Years Eve, though some people have already left pots of poinsettias at the base of the monument. Tobias supposes it's supposed to be cheerful given the season, but all it makes him think about is Abnegation blood flowing so thickly it ran down the gutters like rain.

None of them expect or demand the kids to stay with them during what is such a somber, serious ceremony for the adults, but they do expect them to pay their respects before they scamper off to play in the snow. Tris dusts the snow from her family's names as Ben and Matty crouch down at the base of the stone leaving little offerings. Over the years they've left any number of crayon drawings and report cards and little found treasures and trinkets here for Tris' parents and brother. Tobias doesn't know who cleans them up, what happens to them, but they're never here when they come back on Memorial Day.

Tris adds a recent picture of their family to the pile of gifts before wrapping her sons in her arms while they 'talk' to their grandparents. Tobias slips away quietly. He can't bear to come here more than the twice a year they do, but when he is here, he has his own ritual too. He starts reading at the A's and goes all the way to the Z's, apologizing to every person whose name is inscribed on the stone. He could have tried harder, done more to prevent the coming war once he knew what Erudite and Dauntless were planning.

Maybe it's irrational of him, but he feels the grief of the lives lost, feels the guilt of his own life lived, acutely. He carries the weight of each person with him every day; every time he sits on the Council, kisses his kids, kisses Tris. Draws the breath that was stolen from all these people. There have been times where it's almost choked him, where he understood perfectly why so many Dauntless took their own lives after the war, no matter how many times they were told they weren't responsible for their actions during the Erudite simulation.

He skirts around Zeke and Shauna, not wanting to disrupt them; Christina and Uriah for the same reason. Zoey, Benjamin, and Matthew are walking around the park by the time he makes it to Tris, but as he passes her, her hand clutches at his briefly, tight and fierce and comforting. It almost breaks him.

Tobias keeps going, past the Prior's all the way Timothy Zysk, the last name on the wall. He prays for them and his own forgiveness before he doubles back to Tris.

His arms wrap around her from behind, pulling her close automatically and hiding his face against the top of her head. He prays for Andrew, Natalie, and Caleb as well, but he thanks them too, for their sacrifice. It's not just Tris who wouldn't be here without them, or even Ben and Matty and Sophie, but Tobias himself too.

He never would have survived the loss of Tris. He might not have gone running for the razors the moment she was in the ground, but his life would have been a clock ticking down to zero, his life gone in drink or drugs or just plain recklessness because he wouldn't have cared enough to live like he wanted to be alive, without her.

~~xxxx~~

The ride back to the Pire is quiet, the adults lost in their own thoughts, and the kids walking on eggshells because they don't know what else to do. Christina cries quietly to herself, a small, steady stream of tears trickling down her cheeks where she's bookended by Tris and Uriah.

She pulls herself together by the time they get back, though her eyes are still red and puffy. They trek across the park to Tris and Tobias' house, and though Hana is there with comforting hugs for all of them that doesn't stop Zeke walking straight into the kitchen and pulling down shot glasses and a bottle of whiskey.

They don't offer a toast, but they all raise their glasses before downing the liquor, even Hana, though she doesn't come back for seconds (and thirds, in some cases) like the rest of them do. They mill around the kitchen and living room, mourning still, until the kids get fidgety and they can't ignore that there's always something else they do New Years Eve, too.

~~xxxx~~

The ice 'rink' at Dauntless is really just a low-lying bowl-shaped depression they flood with water every winter so they can skate on it when it freezes. The surface has bumps and cracks and they have to shovel the snow off it every time they want to use it, but it serves it's purpose.

Zoey and Benjamin, and Matthew now too, have hockey practice a couple of times a week, but today they just skate for fun. And they coax their parents out onto the ice, out from under the clouds of memories that have followed them all the way from the war memorial.

But it's Sophie who makes Tris and Tobias smile the biggest, because while her brothers chase each other across the ice and Zeke is busy pushing Shauna around on her sled, Sophie skates all by herself for the first time. It's not without prompting - Tris has to point her at her dad and encourage her to 'get him' -, and even though she moves like a tiny drunk, she still glides across the ice and right into his legs, grinning and giggling the whole time.

Tobias scoops her up, so proud, lifting her in the air in triumph by the time Tris skates over to join them. "Look at you," he praises, "skating all by yourself. I was still tugging your brothers along with my hockey stick when they were your age."

Of course now that Sophie has this newfound skill she's eager to try again, so Tobias sets her down carefully on her skates, his hands hovering until she's steady. He and Tris follow after her, their hands linked in their own quiet celebration. Someone, a long time ago, said that nothing heals the soul like being with children, and Tobias thinks that true more than anything else today.

 


End file.
